"Good evening, how can I help?"
"Are you watching the television?"
"Well, I'm trying to work but yes, we've got one on in the corner."
"Did you see that Starckey woman on the television?"
"Em no. I was actually busy trying to explain, in intricate detail, how the effects of high atmospheric air pressure on the terrestrial transmission network caused her to miss Coronation Street."
"I don't care about Coronation Street. Look, who is this? Did you see the Starckey woman on the television or not?"
"Well there's more guff comes out of her gob than even Blair's, whom, by the way, we no longer call Tony McWaffle. We now call him Tony McPuke. In fact, we say to the whole Labour party: 'Take a running jump New Labour- into the Thames, Tees, Trent or Severn, we don't care.' They'll know all about it when they've drowned for Britain. And you can tell that to the regions. Toodle-ooh, HONK HONK, byeee!"
Line goes dead